Share ur favorite jokes

[~*NightFairy*~]

Assam-u-Alaikum


kesy hain sab INSHAALLAH teek hongey

main soch rahi thi ke kuch new start karun

to yahan kerna ye hai ke wo jokes share kerny hain jo apke fav hain

jinko sun ke ap apni hansi control nahi kar saktey

so lets share ur fav jokes here

lakin funny honey chahiye ke hansi bhi aye

khush rahiye

ALLAH HAFIZ

[Night Rider]

sahi..............

[Noor-e-Sahar]

ustad , bachon se :
acha yeh batao din may taare kyun nikaltey hain ?...

Ek bachey ney masoomiyat se jawab dia '''
sir woh suraj k raste may tang arate hain

[S_K_Princess]

andheron ko bura kehne se kuch nhi ho ga,

apne hissay ka diya tm khud jalao gay...
a public msg from w.a.p.d.a.!!!

[Muslima92]

Kabhi kabhi meray dil main khayal aata hay

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50 Ka load ker wao to 43 ka kiun aata hay............................................
lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[G4Goal]

Originally Posted by Chicky
Ws

Nice thread

ye meri taraf se

Film k poster k uper kesi peer k uras ka poster lag jata hai , aur dono thore phaat jatay hain aur text ye banta hai :

1 ticket mae 2 mazay , qawali k baad lunger bhi hoga , Hazrat Alama Molana Gujar badmash sultan rahi k full action mae ! Khawateen k liyay parday ka khaas ahtamam ! Saima k dil fareeb raqs mae shaareek ko kar ! sawab-e-dareen haseel karain

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Tashfin]

Aik admi apne hath mein aik packet liye tezi sey bhag raha tha.
Police ne use terrorist samjha our usey rok kar pucha
"kaha bhage ja rahe ho"
Woh bola "Bhai main koi bura admi nahin hoon mai to apni bewi ke liye kapre le kar ja raha hoon."
Police "To is tarha bhag kion Rahe ho."
Admi "Mujhe dar hain keh kahi ghar phoonchte phoonchte Fashion na change ho jaye."

[Free Bird]

Ek bacha apney abba kai saath English movie dekh rahaa tha.
Bacha: Abu, in logon nei chahrey pey rangon kyoon lagaya hai?
Abu: Aisa jang mein hota hai. Yeh hamlay ki tayyari kar rahein hai.

Thori der baad bachey ki ammi aai make up laga kai.
Bacha: Abu abu hoshyaar rahiye, ammi hamley ki tayyari kar rahi hain...

[blaade dx]

ws salam.. i am new here but i like this thread...

joke....

2 chonti pahar pe bethin thin...
nechay se ek hathi guzra
ek chenti ne hathi pe jump laga di...
2sri foran chilai
DABA K SALAY KO.......

[=SAM=]

A woman parked her brand-new Lexus in front of her office, ready to show it
off to her colleagues. As she got out, a truck passed too close and
completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The woman immediately grabbed her cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes
a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions,
the woman started screaming hysterically. Her Lexus, which she had just
picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the
same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the woman finally wound down from her ranting and raving, the officer
shook his head in disgust and disbelief..
"I can't believe how materialistic you women are," he said. "You are so
focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the woman.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"OH MY GOD!" screamed the woman, "Where's my new bracelet?"

[romi shah]

ChiCKy your joke is wonderful......main hans hans k lot pot ho gai.......
ye meri taraf se.........
I bacha apni mama se pochta hai k, mama! main kese paida hua
uski mama her rooz usey taal deti hain
lekin 1 din tang aa ker wo usko batati hain k, ''din mainy 1 garha khareeda or us main pani daal ker us ghary ko zameen main dafan kar diyakuch din ba'd nikala to us main tum thy''

phir bache ne bhi aise hi kiya, 1 garha lekar us main pani or matti dal kar usko zameen main dafna diya lekin jab kuch din ba'd nikala to us main se 1 frog niklaab to usko bohut ghussa aya or us ne
frog se kaha k ''dil to chahta hai k tujhko goli mar don lekin kiya karon tu meri aulad hai''

[missrao]

Three Americans and one British soldiers were hanging in air with a rope of a helicopter that rescued them.

Suddenly, the pilot shouted, "We are already overloaded; one person will have to sacrifice."

The four people looked at one another.

At last, the British soldier declared that he would sacrifice.

The Americans started clapping.

[♥Royal Queen♥]

[koi_hai]

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.' So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, 'Come on in.' When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done. Glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?'

'Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last
one for myself.'

'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for! The rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked. 'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.
'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be
safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?'
'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'
'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. 'I'd do the same for you!' So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.
'Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?'

Lmao... damn good!

[aniya]

Ws

Nice thread

ye meri taraf se

Film k poster k uper kesi peer k uras ka poster lag jata hai , aur dono thore phaat jatay hain aur text ye banta hai :

1 ticket mae 2 mazay , qawali k baad lunger bhi hoga , Hazrat Alama Molana Gujar badmash sultan rahi k full action mae ! Khawateen k liyay parday ka khaas ahtamam ! Saima k dil fareeb raqs mae shaareek ko kar ! sawab-e-dareen haseel karain

Hass hass kar bura haal ho gya.....so funny

aniya added 21 Minutes and 37 Seconds later...

Aslam alaikum,

This one is my fav. joke;

Ek bus main kuch dakoo guss aate hain. ek seat par ek aurat bethi hoti hai or uss ki pichli seat par ek aadmi betha hota hai.

Dakoo aurat se: tumhare paas jo kuch b hai mere hawale kar do.

Aurat sab kuch nikal kar uss ko day deti hai

then daakoo asked: tumhara naam kia hai?

Aurat: jee Balqees!

Dakoo: oh.. meri behan ka name bhi balqees hai

or uss aurat ko uss ki cheezain wapis kar deta hai

phir pichay bethay aadmi ke paas jata hai nd said...jo kuch hai nikalo

jab wo aadmi sara kuch dene lagta hai to dakoo uss se poochta hai... tumhara kia naam

hai?

The man replied: waise to mera naam Allah rakha hai par mohallay main sab Balqees

Balqees kehte hain

[mehryimdad]

aik pathan ki b v ka intiqal ho gaya..khan sahab ghar say baher nhin niklay
on kay kuch dost milay aur khan sahab ki halat per afsos karnay lagay aik nay kaha becharay ko apni zanani kay marnay ka bohut dukh hai isi liyay woh ghar say bhi nahin nikaltiforan 2re pathan nay luqma diya nai yaar yah baat nahin hai.asal may woh abhi EDDATmay hai

[yousaf jamal]

[QUOTE=Mr Meer;1245503]Wa salam
well Acha silsila hai

eik Joke pichlay dino nazar se ghuzra jo abhi tak yaad hai

Pathan :- Ye Plastic surgery Ka kitna paisa lagay ga ?

Dr :- 2 Lakh

Pathan :- Agar Plastic Hum day de tu ........... ? [/Such persons are every where might be in the family of the person who submitted the joke so we should not attribute a joke to a tribe

yousaf jamal added 3 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

such persons are every where, might be in the family of the person who submitted the joke ,so pl. do not attribute a joke to a tribe who have ruled the sub continent for decades.

[Ch.]

Walaikum Salam
Is silsilay ke mutalliq sab nain hi appreciade kia aur main bhi kehna chahon ga ke achi koshish hai.
Well ap logon ke sath kuch share karta hun. i don,t Know its joke or any thing else but its funny.

Equation 1,
Human = eat+sleep+work+enjoy
Donkey = eat+sleep
Therefore
Human = Donkey+work+enjoy
Human - enjoy = Donkey+work
In other words Human that dont know how to enjoy = donkey that work

Equation 2,
Men = eat+sleep+earn money
Donkey = Eat+Sleep
Therefore
Men = Donkeys+earn money
Men - earn money = donkeys
In other words Men taht dont earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3,
Women = Eat+sleep+spend
Donkeys = Eat+sleep
Therefore
Women = Donkeys+spend
Women - Spend = donkeys
In other words Women that dont Spend = Donkeys

To Conclude From Eq. 1 And Eq. 2
Men that dont earn money = Women that dont spend

So,
Men earn money not to let women become donkey (Postulate 1)
And
Women spend not to let men become donkeys (Postulate 2)

So we have?
Men+Women = Donkeys+earnmoney+donkeys+spend money

There fore from postulate 1 and postulate 2 we can conclude,

"Man +Women = 2 Donkeys that Live happily togethers"

Ch. added 9 Minutes and 52 Seconds later...

Lmao... damn good!

[zee_axis]

All the Sardar leaders are having a secret gathering to find out how to get freedom n have their very own land Khalistan,,,,,,,

after much thought n discussion they finally come to a solution n propose a fool proof plan for that,,,

halalalalalala is what one can hear in the room,,,

they start the feast n open bottles of rum n then,,,,,,,

all of a sudden an old sikh stands and shouts "stop it you fools",,,,,

n theres a deep silence,,,

what is it with you old man ?,,,says one sardar

the old one replies! have u ever wondered that even if u get ur freedom n a separate state,,how u plan to run that???,,,u guyz have never been to school n have any kind of education,,,,,how can u run a state?????

deep silence,,,all of them seem quite disappointed n sad,,,,

when one guy stands n says null problemo!!!! we will attack USA,,,n then surely USA will occupy us n they would rehablitate us n run the state,,,

again therezz halalalalala in the room,,,,again rounds of rum n all,,,, absolute joy,,,

but not for long,,,

the same old sardar stands up n says,,,,,,,,,,,,,sorry guyz but what are u going to do if we occupy the USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HUM AUR TUM]

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.


But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back o pick."


The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.


Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.


Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.


So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.


The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person...."


*"What is marriage then?" the student asked.


The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."


The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.


The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."

[5456107]

Good jokes, Keep it up