Why marriages die and love die after few years of marriage?

Why marriages die and love die after few years of marriage? · 06-22-2009

Hello guys,

I've got something for you all. My POV of why love and relationship dies after few years of marriages, along with few solutions or tips to keep it alive.

I've seen and still seeing nowdays marriage falling apart like anything.

Jaise kehte hain ke shaadi ke 10 saal bad husband haath paon marta hai dusri shaadi ke liye. Aur 10 saal ke baad shaadi mein woh spark khatam hojata hai jo shuru mein hota hai, woh baat nahi rehti joh shuru mein hoti hai.

Aisi liye husbands and yep some wives also have extramarital affairs and that happens because the love husband wife had becomes duty for them. After marriages it is fact that you've more responsibilites and duties and they become more after children. And this is when it all begins.

As they get more responsibilities, hubby-wife have less time for themselves or sometimes not at all and due to this distance starts to create in their relationship, and fun thing is they don't even realise when the get the first sympton which is not having to tell what you want to, have no time for each other.

Both thing oh well everything will work out with time and they leave it, shake of the thoughts from theri minds and keep themselves again busy in routine life. What they don't realise they have let the time slip and now distance is became even more.

Husband keeps himself busy in making money making his family financially secured. Meanwhile wife keeps herself busy is house chores and children and some who work aswell are busy in work aswell. They keep ignoring their inner voices - the truth. They think this is normal and our marriage is perfect fine, it's ROUTINE!

ROUTINE - the most dangerous word, a lie which lets wives live in this fantasy believing everything is fine.

When they keep ignoring fact and don't do something about it, that causes their relationship death and most importantly their LOVE DIES. And that is why we have extra-marital affairs and relationships dying. After that both live in marriage just for the sake of it - COMPROMISE - another most dangerous word (a false shield over dead relationship).

Is this what is true meaning of marriage? Why does 98% of marriages end on compromise? Why there's bound to be third person in picture after few years of marriage?

This is why, because we are too afraid to accpet the truth. We are too afraid to talk about it.

(Here I gave one most common reason which is lack of time. But there are many more reason but they narrow down to same thing.)

And after alot of thinking according to me this is solution to this major problem.

Husband-wife no matter how much they are busy with thier duties, responsibilites should NEVER ignore their spouse, each day atleast have 10-20 minutes of thier own time. In which they talk to each other about ONLY themselves, talks of their hearts, minds. If there is something which is bothering letter should talk aobut it and try and solve it.

If both recognise the first sympton should immdiately talk to each other CALMLY and try and figure out HOW to resolve it, how to find time for each other rather than BLAMING each other.

Each day or alteast once a week compliment your spouse and let them know how special they are in latter's life and heart. Never let them feel that their love is dying.

If don't get time together plan a holiday, infact atleast once a year hubby-wife plan a holiday for THEMSELVES not whole family. That is best way to communicate with each other and your inner self, even if it's only for 2 days, go out somewhere little far from your routine place.

And keep bringing change into your normal routine life that always create huge difference (trust me on this, I've couldn't known better), as it says "small changes can make great impact".

Don't ever forget along with family you need to be with each other mostly, don't let each other feel you are lonely and no one have talk to. (this is when third person enters)

And most importantly discuss with each other how you both can bring back the old spark back in your marriage life.

If each husband wife start doing this, I'm sure the percentages of extra-marital affairs, divorces and compromise (ONLY) will drop rapidly.

But this only works IF both partners understand each other completely and are willingly to do this. Because relationship never works from one side. If it's only one sided it ends sooner or later.

Well this is what I've to say, if I've hurt someone's feelings or said something unappropriate then I'm sorry.

**NoToRi0uS** · #2 06-29-2009

Joke of the Millennium Hai yeh ...............

**Noor-Ch** · #3 06-29-2009

hahaha Noto ki ajh khair nahi hai ..........................

**AnGeL Ey3s** · #4 06-29-2009

notorious sharam karooo wo itna serious tooooooooopicccc aur tum ho ke

**SaharImran** · #5 06-29-2009

koi short bata dein kya likha hai .. itna lamba parhnai ka mood nahin

**koi_hai** · #6 07-03-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoToRi0uS

Joke of the Millennium Hai yeh ...............

Really? How sweet (!)
You know what, this really proves my point that how the men are actually.

I'm sorry I wasted my and your time by writing it here and posting it.
Es umeed mein ke shayad ajj ke generation yeh samajh le aur woh galati na kare jo pehle hoti ayi hai.

Anyhoo, with with me, I thought maybe it can help but...

Anyways, bye.

**NoToRi0uS** · #7 07-03-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by koi_hai

Really? How sweet (!)
You know what, this really proves my point that how the men are actually.

I'm sorry I wasted my and your time by writing it here and posting it.
Es umeed mein ke shayad ajj ke generation yeh samajh le aur woh galati na kare jo pehle hoti ayi hai.

Anyhoo, with with me, I thought maybe it can help but...

Anyways, bye.

It was something which you would not understand..normally I don't need to explain or clarify but it was a "DARE" given & so.
Rest I don't say anything
but don't judge people in hurry.
ciao

**~Phoenix Scream~** · #8 07-03-2009

hmmm. as far as i think kabhi kabar third person ka suna hai
per mostly marriages mein aisa nai hota

han. there can be a chance when a person is fully bored from his life . like other person mean to say his life partner is not fulfulling his requirements
at that moment. men usually marry someone else
but the affairs ur talking abt

i dont think so .

anyways why marriage n luv die after few years of marriage
as marriage life is so hard.we face many serious problems but some ppl end up badly .they give up themselves before they can enjoy the real part

becoz bad n good times are part of life

**Sober21** · #9 07-04-2009

Well firstly thanks alot!
secondly this is a common practice of having extra marital affairs these
days ,if not husband then wife n if not wife then a husband is usually
complaining about the time,requirement stuff..But actually what we all have
to look in is how much we value our relationship n how we manage time..Plus
how much we r close to our religion.Trust mei have seen Mashallah a great
couple with four kids, a very happy family..Y? because both of them r educated
offer 5 times prayer,recite Holy Quran daily they dont watch tv much they
try to stay away from music n make their children out of these non_islamic
stuff!! they know how to lead a simple islamic life n what is the respect of
husband n wife in islam..Here u would say k islam main tuo bohat kuch hai,
magar wohi sab kuch tuo aj kal nahi kartay isi liye the condition hurriedly
goes up to divorse etc..!!Else i dont wana discuss it further!

06-22-2009	#1
Why marriages die and love die after few years of marriage? koi_hai Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: on Earth. D'uh!!! Posts: 329 Thanks: 156 Thanked 67 Times in 12 Posts koi_hai 06-22-2009 Rating: (0 votes - average) Hello guys, I've got something for you all. My POV of why love and relationship dies after few years of marriages, along with few solutions or tips to keep it alive. I've seen and still seeing nowdays marriage falling apart like anything. Jaise kehte hain ke shaadi ke 10 saal bad husband haath paon marta hai dusri shaadi ke liye. Aur 10 saal ke baad shaadi mein woh spark khatam hojata hai jo shuru mein hota hai, woh baat nahi rehti joh shuru mein hoti hai. Aisi liye husbands and yep some wives also have extramarital affairs and that happens because the love husband wife had becomes duty for them. After marriages it is fact that you've more responsibilites and duties and they become more after children. And this is when it all begins. As they get more responsibilities, hubby-wife have less time for themselves or sometimes not at all and due to this distance starts to create in their relationship, and fun thing is they don't even realise when the get the first sympton which is not having to tell what you want to, have no time for each other. Both thing oh well everything will work out with time and they leave it, shake of the thoughts from theri minds and keep themselves again busy in routine life. What they don't realise they have let the time slip and now distance is became even more. Husband keeps himself busy in making money making his family financially secured. Meanwhile wife keeps herself busy is house chores and children and some who work aswell are busy in work aswell. They keep ignoring their inner voices - the truth. They think this is normal and our marriage is perfect fine, it's ROUTINE! ROUTINE - the most dangerous word, a lie which lets wives live in this fantasy believing everything is fine. When they keep ignoring fact and don't do something about it, that causes their relationship death and most importantly their LOVE DIES. And that is why we have extra-marital affairs and relationships dying. After that both live in marriage just for the sake of it - COMPROMISE - another most dangerous word (a false shield over dead relationship). Is this what is true meaning of marriage? Why does 98% of marriages end on compromise? Why there's bound to be third person in picture after few years of marriage? This is why, because we are too afraid to accpet the truth. We are too afraid to talk about it. (Here I gave one most common reason which is lack of time. But there are many more reason but they narrow down to same thing.) And after alot of thinking according to me this is solution to this major problem. Husband-wife no matter how much they are busy with thier duties, responsibilites should NEVER ignore their spouse, each day atleast have 10-20 minutes of thier own time. In which they talk to each other about ONLY themselves, talks of their hearts, minds. If there is something which is bothering letter should talk aobut it and try and solve it. If both recognise the first sympton should immdiately talk to each other CALMLY and try and figure out HOW to resolve it, how to find time for each other rather than BLAMING each other. Each day or alteast once a week compliment your spouse and let them know how special they are in latter's life and heart. Never let them feel that their love is dying. If don't get time together plan a holiday, infact atleast once a year hubby-wife plan a holiday for THEMSELVES not whole family. That is best way to communicate with each other and your inner self, even if it's only for 2 days, go out somewhere little far from your routine place. And keep bringing change into your normal routine life that always create huge difference (trust me on this, I've couldn't known better), as it says "small changes can make great impact". Don't ever forget along with family you need to be with each other mostly, don't let each other feel you are lonely and no one have talk to. (this is when third person enters) And most importantly discuss with each other how you both can bring back the old spark back in your marriage life. If each husband wife start doing this, I'm sure the percentages of extra-marital affairs, divorces and compromise (ONLY) will drop rapidly. But this only works IF both partners understand each other completely and are willingly to do this. Because relationship never works from one side. If it's only one sided it ends sooner or later. Well this is what I've to say, if I've hurt someone's feelings or said something unappropriate then I'm sorry.
Views: 195

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to koi_hai For This Useful Post:
AnGeL Ey3s (06-24-2009), Dr. Faiza (07-04-2009), NoToRi0uS (06-29-2009), pretty01 (07-03-2009), SaharImran (06-29-2009), Sober21 (07-04-2009), ~Phoenix Scream~ (07-03-2009)