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Thread: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

      
   
  1. #1
    Bilal Azam is offline Junior Member
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    تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    تم جب آؤ گی

    تم جب آؤ گی
    مجھے ویسا ہی پاؤ گی
    وہ خواب میرے
    آدھے ادھورے
    وہی اداسی دل کی
    سانجھ سویرے
    وہی چیزیں ہوں گی میری
    کچھ سوکھے پھول بھی
    ہوں گے کتابوں میں
    کچھ کاغذ جن پہ
    بے ربط تحریریں ہوں گی
    جو خواب دیکھے تھے
    تم نے، میں نے
    ان کی بے نام سی
    تعبیریں ہوں گی
    اُسی انداز میں بھکری ہوں گی
    کوٹ کالر ٹائی اور فائلیں
    ہار جھمکے چوڑیاں پائیلیں
    سب کچھ ہو گا
    تم ہو گی
    میری دنیا ہو گی
    بس اک چیز کی کمی ہو گی
    اُس وقت میں خود تھا
    اب صرف میری یاد ہو گی

    (شاعر: محمد بلال اعظم)

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Bilal Azam For This Useful Post:

    *AFAQ ALI* (05-16-2012), *resham* (05-17-2012), amnarani (05-17-2012), BENAM (05-19-2012), Nabbas (05-16-2012), Savi Abbas (05-20-2012), seerat123 (05-17-2012), Shab-e-Firaaq (05-16-2012)

  3. #2
    *AFAQ ALI*'s Avatar
    *AFAQ ALI* is offline Abhay o Aeinay k sodagar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Wow bohat khobsurat bhai....dill ko cho gai aap ki nazam,,,,,,,,,,khosh rahein.............
    Poetess Mamin Mirza


  4. #3
    Shab-e-Firaaq's Avatar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    hmmm Achi hai

    BEST OF LUCK .




    Kuch Khwaab Jo Na Dekhein Tu GuZra Nahin Hota .. !!




    Hum Na'Janey Kis Pa'l Main Saniha ho Jaein Gay ..


  5. #4
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Nihayut Umdah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #5
    -UNKNOWN-PERSON- is offline Expert Member
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    khoob .....
    likhty rahye nikhaar aata jaayga ....
    khush rahhey ...ameen
    best of luck.
    mujh sy ab shairy nahen hote
    mujhy lafzoo'n nay maar dala hay







  7. #6
    farrukhjii's Avatar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    khoob hay janab..
    likhtay rahyea..
    aabad o kamran rahyea..ameen
    Khayal-ger



  8. #7
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    very nice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,




  9. #8
    amnarani's Avatar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    wah.bht khoob nazm likhi hai aap ne........

  10. #9
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    beautiful .............

  11. #10
    BENAM's Avatar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Oey hoey........! Akhri misra ne barra kam dikhaya hai. Me to is ka ikhtitam kuchh aur he soch raha tha. Jab me ne parrha "Bas ik cheez ki kami ho gi", dil main kaha: "matlab???" Is misray ki bilkil samajh nahin ayee. Lkn jab agla aur phir akhri fiqra parrha to daad denay ko dil chaha. Agarchay mujhay pehley he ye nazm achhi lag rahi thee lkn akhri teen misron ne to bahot kam kia. Aur mazay ki bat ye hai in teen misron main aik poora chakkar hai. Ye teen misray agarchay baqi nazm ko mkammal krtay hn lkn is andaz se k kia bat hai.

    Ye nazm parrh k mujhay aik afsana nigar ki yad ayee jis k afsanay parrh k jab tak me chand satren na likhta chaen nahin ata tha. Bahot khoob!

  12. #11
    Bilal Azam is offline Junior Member
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Quote Originally Posted by *AFAQ ALI* View Post
    Wow bohat khobsurat bhai....dill ko cho gai aap ki nazam,,,,,,,,,,khosh rahein.............
    آفاق جی آپ کی حوصلہ افزائی کا تہہ دل سے مشکور ہوں۔ خوش رہیے۔


    ---------- Post added at 09:01 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Shab-e-Firaaq View Post
    hmmm Achi hai

    BEST OF LUCK .
    شبِ فراق جی آپ کا بہت بہت شکریہ۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:01 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:01 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Nabbas View Post
    Nihayut Umdah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best of Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    نباص جی آپ کا بہت ممنون ہوں۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:01 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by GOHAR-E-NAYAAB View Post
    khoob .....
    likhty rahye nikhaar aata jaayga ....
    khush rahhey ...ameen
    best of luck.

    بہت بہت شکریہ، آپ کے تبصرے میرے لئے واقعی گوہر کے مصداق ہیں۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:02 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by farrukhjii View Post
    khoob hay janab..
    likhtay rahyea..
    aabad o kamran rahyea..ameen
    فرخ جی آپ کا بھی میں تہہ دل سے مشکور و ممنون ہوں۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:03 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by seerat123 View Post
    very nice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    سیرت جی آپ کا بہت بہت شکریہ کہ آپ کو میری کاوش پسند آئی۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:06 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:04 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by amnarani View Post
    wah.bht khoob nazm likhi hai aap ne........
    فرینڈ کورنر کی اتنی بڑی شاعرہ کو میری نظم پسند آئی، واہ بہت خوب بہت بہت شکریہ آپ کا۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:07 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:06 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by *resham* View Post
    beautiful .............
    بہت بہت شکریہ ریشم جی۔

    ---------- Post added at 09:08 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:07 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by BENAM View Post
    Oey hoey........! Akhri misra ne barra kam dikhaya hai. Me to is ka ikhtitam kuchh aur he soch raha tha. Jab me ne parrha "Bas ik cheez ki kami ho gi", dil main kaha: "matlab???" Is misray ki bilkil samajh nahin ayee. Lkn jab agla aur phir akhri fiqra parrha to daad denay ko dil chaha. Agarchay mujhay pehley he ye nazm achhi lag rahi thee lkn akhri teen misron ne to bahot kam kia. Aur mazay ki bat ye hai in teen misron main aik poora chakkar hai. Ye teen misray agarchay baqi nazm ko mkammal krtay hn lkn is andaz se k kia bat hai.

    Ye nazm parrh k mujhay aik afsana nigar ki yad ayee jis k afsanay parrh k jab tak me chand satren na likhta chaen nahin ata tha. Bahot khoob!


    آپ نے اتنا بڑا کمنٹ دیا، سچی میں مجھے بہت خوشی ہوئی کہ آپ کو میری کاوش پسند آئی۔ خیلی بسیار ممنون

    اس افسانہ نگارکا نام بھی بتا دیجے اگر برا نا مانیں تو۔


    ---------- Post added at 09:09 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by BENAM View Post
    Oey hoey........! Akhri misra ne barra kam dikhaya hai. Me to is ka ikhtitam kuchh aur he soch raha tha. Jab me ne parrha "Bas ik cheez ki kami ho gi", dil main kaha: "matlab???" Is misray ki bilkil samajh nahin ayee. Lkn jab agla aur phir akhri fiqra parrha to daad denay ko dil chaha. Agarchay mujhay pehley he ye nazm achhi lag rahi thee lkn akhri teen misron ne to bahot kam kia. Aur mazay ki bat ye hai in teen misron main aik poora chakkar hai. Ye teen misray agarchay baqi nazm ko mkammal krtay hn lkn is andaz se k kia bat hai.

    Ye nazm parrh k mujhay aik afsana nigar ki yad ayee jis k afsanay parrh k jab tak me chand satren na likhta chaen nahin ata tha. Bahot khoob!


    آپ نے اتنا بڑا کمنٹ دیا، سچی میں مجھے بہت خوشی ہوئی کہ آپ کو میری کاوش پسند آئی۔ خیلی بسیار ممنون

    اس افسانہ نگارکا نام بھی بتا دیجے اگر برا نا مانیں تو۔

  13. #12
    Savi Abbas's Avatar
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    written effortlessly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bohat khoob......simple, sweet and lovely poem!!!!!goodluck!!!

    ​​​​


    کترنیں روح کی آؤ کے ,سمیٹیں فرخ
    کیا خبر ، لوٹ کے آجاے رفو کا موسم







  14. #13
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Bilal Azam : Mera matlab Durre Nayab se tha.

  15. #14
    Bilal Azam is offline Junior Member
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Quote Originally Posted by Savi Abbas View Post
    written effortlessly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bohat khoob......simple, sweet and lovely poem!!!!!goodluck!!!
    بہت بہت شکریہ سوی جی۔

  16. #15
    Angel Mir is offline Junior Member
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    بھت اچھی ھے۔۔ٹیگ کرنے کا شکریہ :ــ

  17. #16
    Bilal Azam is offline Junior Member
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel Mir View Post
    بھت اچھی ھے۔۔ٹیگ کرنے کا شکریہ :ــ
    آپ آئے تو سہی، شکریہ بہت بہت

  18. #17
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    Re: تم جب آؤ گی for competition

    Hmmm Khoob Hai........ Us Waqt MaiN Khud Tha...... Ab Sirf Meri Yaad Hogi...... 2nd Line MaiN Mujhe Ki Jagah Sab Lagane Se Akhiri Line Justify Hojati Hai... Aik Achi Koshish Hai..... Likhte Rahiye.... Khush Rahiye......

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